Loving Yourself Better
Over the month of April, Jenny has asked me (Liz Ellery) to guest post / share my personal stories and practical advice (& of course journaling prompts) on how I allow good things into my life - and how you can too.
The topics I’ll be talking about are Trust, Belief Systems, one of my Favourite Books on Surrendering and how I’ve learnt to Love Myself more.
With that said, please enjoy my 3rd journal article in my 4-part series…
About 3 years ago I lost a whole bunch of weight and went down 2 dress sizes. I’d never lost this kind of weight before in my life and it was kind of life changing for me. My self esteem soared and I was feeling really sexy for the first time in I can’t even remember. I’d been single for awhile and wanted to meet someone so this was all feeling very positive.
I lost weight from a very strict diet and also taking up running for the first time too.
I even ran a half marathon after never really exercising much, so I felt in a really amazing place with my health and mental wellbeing.
Until I didn’t.
Once I stopped the strict diet, I went back to my old ways of eating. I gained back all the weight. Then a few months later I’d do the strict diet and lose weight again.
I’d changed this long held (15 years) belief of “I can’t lose weight” to “I can’t keep the weight off” or “I can lose it quickly if I need/want to”. Thus begun a very unhealthy yoyo diet for the next 3 years that massively affected my mental health. It was only at the end of last year (2023) that I did the diet again for the last time before going to Thailand for 3 weeks and really realising how fu**ed up I was mentally around food and how I saw myself. How me self esteem and worth were all wrapped up in my weight and how much I weighed on the scales.
I came back from Thailand and gained back all the weight and then some more.
I knew and wanted to change. I’d swapped an old belief system for a really unhealthy one.
I had to trust and believe that this time would be different. If I really wanted to change, I had to do things totally differently.
During this whole process I stumbled across a podcast featuring Shahroo Izadi, a behavioural change specialist who had struggled with her weight for a long period of her life. She shared how she was able to lose her weight for good and keep it off and it was all to do with being more kind to herself. She’d written two books, The Kindness Method and The Last Diet and I knew this method was for me.
I wanted to be kinder to myself.
I wanted to lead a healthy life.
And to believe that all of my hopes were possible for me. To not listen to the voice saying, oh but you’ve tried changing your eating for years, what makes you think this time is different? This time though - I’ve learnt to stop listening to that voice. After the success and true belief and surrender system I’ve achieved in my business - I KNOW it’s possible to change something you’ve struggled with.
Since the start of 2024 since having the realisation that I want to make a big and healthier change as far as my health and eating are concerned, I have cried and felt overweight, my clothes feeling too tight, not felt desirable, had thoughts of just doing the strict quick weight loss diet sooo many times and kept fighting it … to starting to look at my body with more kindness, to not tying up who I am as a person with my weight, practising the kindness method with myself and my thoughts, buying clothes that make me feel amazing, to not being worried or bothered about losing weight but more importantly just wanting to eat well and feel good. If I lose weight, that would be a healthy bi product.
I’m starting to do what I did with my business and not have such a tight grip on everything being so controlled - that anxious feeling. I feel so much more in flow.
I’ve ditched the scales.
I’ve swapped drinking 2-3 cans of Pepsi max to kombucha which is awesome for gut health.
I’ve stopped eating chocolate and sweets as they were the problematic foods for me that I felt myself binge eat and weren’t great. I gave up alcohol in 2019 for a year to change my relationship with it and it 100% did, I have a much healthier relationship with it now and very rarely drink. So I thought I’d try it with chocolate and sugar for a year and see how that goes and I’m telling you, once I said, I’m not eating that anymore it made things feel so much easier.
I listen to positive songs about love and self love that make me feel really happy when I listen to them. I’ll often look into the mirror whilst they’re playing and smile at myself and say words of kindness to myself so I start to truly believe them to be true.
I’ve bought clothes that make me feel like a goddess.
I do jigsaw puzzles at night and listen to books or podcasts and it makes me feel so wholesome and like I’m doing something lovely for myself. I get so much joy from building a beautiful jigsaw, I only get really pretty painted ones that are fun!
I buy myself flowers.
I wear jewellery that has crystals in them that lift my energy.
I believe we all should feel good about ourselves no matter our size and that’s something I’ve really struggled with. I really hope this article has helped you in some way, if you like me have struggled with similar things. We’re awesome, just as we are. We just need to start telling ourselves it more and start to believe it truly deeply.
Journal Prompts and Musings…
List 3 things you can do this week that will be something lovely for your self care.
Eg. Have a luxurious bubble bath, lunch with a friend, buy yourself flowers, get a massage or a manicure.
Is there something you want to work on that you know is causing you problems, for example, you have imposter syndrome, which is causing low confidence to pitch yourself for a new business/job opportunity.
I want you to write in your journal or notebook, what problem you want to resolve and what you believe about yourself in regards to that problem.
Then start looking for things that prove this problem wrong. Are you really bad at your job? No, Jane said last week how awesome you were. You had that great result for that client last month.
Really start seeing all those positive points so you can flip those negative thoughts on their ass. AND you'll start creating a stronger, happier mindset!
- For me, my self-care was all focused on how I see myself and self-love. Yours might be work related as I wrote above or it could be how you feel as a mother or wanting to be a better partner. Just journal whatever comes to mind.
I’d love to know if any of this resonates with you and if so, please do share in the comments below…
Enjoyed this post? Then you’ll love these posts from the same article series by Liz Ellery…
