Do You Ever Wonder What Could Have Been?
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Do You Ever Wonder What Could Have Been?
This past weekend has me thinking about “what could have been”.
It was supposed to be graduation weekend, but with the virus, all of that was cancelled. These kids, their families, and their teachers have been denied celebrating what should have been one of the most memorable times of their lives.
It’s sad to lose something that could have been so special. It makes you wonder, doesn’t it?
Then I started thinking about other kinds of loss: loss of a loved one, loss of a moment you can’t bring back; loss of a relationship; loss of time… there’s so much loss, and we all have to figure out how to transition over to the other side of those losses.
For anyone else who has time to reflect about past losses or has experienced a loss that is still fresh, doing these writing activities will help you.
Here’s what you do:
Take out your journal and write a letter to the _________ you lost.
This could be a person, an event, a character trait, a home, a relationship, money, or anything else you can think of that has you wondering “what could have been”? Write a letter to this person, object, personality trait, or event.
I wrote a letter to the two babies I lost to ectopic pregnancies. They were such traumatic events including surgery, recovery, and wondering if I could get pregnant again that I don’t think I ever properly grieved either loss until recently.
After you write the letter and if you feel ready, do this next writing activity as well.
Write 3-10 things your loss has taught you.
When I wrote about what my loss taught me, some astounding things came from it.
Life changing things. The two most profound things I was taught were that:
1.) Life is short. I could have died since both of these ectopic pregnancies were not discovered until later than normal. Especially the second one since 10 years later my fallopian tube had grown back together since the first surgery causing another blockage. My mom says I am constantly in motion, going, doing, never stopping. I think this is because I know tomorrow is never guaranteed. I also think because of this, I live a little extra.
2.) I love my kids in a fierce mama bear kind of way. I don’t take the fact what gifts they are for granted, and I try to be the very best mom possible because of this.
Writing out these lessons has given me time to reflect on why I am the way I am and how these beliefs and actions began. Now I have even more to reflect and write about!
I hope you have found some clarity and inner peace by doing these two journaling activities.
If you would like to share in the comments, let me know how this landed for you and what came up as you wrote.
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