Permission to Feel: Unlocking the Power of Emotions to Help Our Kids, Ourselves, and Our Society Thrive by Dr. Marc Brackett
How are you feeling?
Did your mind immediately say, “fine”, “good”, or something similar?
Now be honest…How are you really feeling?
Most of the time we walk around numb to our feelings; we’ve taught to shove them aside and guess what manifests? Overeating, addictions, poor choices, and more.
Have you ever stopped to consider the role feelings play in your thoughts and actions? For example, if I’m feeling rejected, instead of taking a moment to acknowledge that feeling and work through it in a positive way, I may grab a bag of chips. We are often numbing ourselves from feelings through addictive behaviors. Sound familiar?
Emotions motivate us to act and they determine what you care about in the moment.
Of course they aren’t all bad, but often times we are not really thinking about what is driving our behaviors.
Dr. Marc Brackett’s book, Permission to Feel, is packed with examples about why we must start to feel and understand our feelings. How? He encourages us all to become “Emotion Scientists”! You need to get curious about your feelings.
My kids and I love the idea of being Emotion Scientists! It promotes awareness, mindfulness, and harmony.
This book is worth the read and is packed with stories and ideas for making positive changes, but my favorite was to write a Family Charter. A charter is a document that details how everybody wants to feel in your home. I think you could do this for yourself alone but also as a family.
So take out your journal or a notebook and write a charter for yourself. Then if you feel moved, write one with your partner or family. You could even write a charter with your colleagues or if you’re a teacher, with your students.
Here’s what you’ll do. Adapt it as needed.
Writing a Charter
This is a written document or pact that details how everybody in your home wishes to feel.
Three Questions:
**How do we want to feel as a family?
**What can we do to experience these feelings as often as possible?
(For example - get specific about how to set the proper mood for things like homework, bedtime, outings, or dinner.)
*Then occasionally evaluate the charter.
**What can we do when we are not living the charter?
We have our Charter posted right by the kitchen table, so we can discuss it whenever we’re eating together.
The feelings we decided we want to feel as a family are:
Cheerful
Helpful
Loving
Motivated
Grateful
Respectful
Blessed
Calm
Brackett says, “Putting your emotional needs in writing makes them real for ourselves and others.” I couldn’t have said it better myself! You know I believe in the power writing holds. Seeing it in print can change your life because it creates awareness around your thoughts, feelings, and needs.
Here's excellent PDF from the Mind Your Mind Project to accompany the book.
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